March 11, 2025 – 6 min read
Fear of flying isn’t always rational, it’s deeply tied to emotions, perceptions, and personal experiences. That’s why some well-meaning techniques that seem logical or helpful don’t actually work for everyone. What calms one person might make another feel worse. In this article, we’ll explore common fear of flying techniques that often fail, and why. Whether you’re a nervous flyer yourself or someone trying to help, understanding these ineffective approaches can help you focus on what truly makes a difference.
While it’s true that flying is statistically one of the safest modes of transportation, as a nervous flyer, you might not be thinking about data. Unlike driving, where you might accept risk as part of daily life, you see your flight as an isolated event, disconnected from broader statistics. Since you’re not in control, reassurance through numbers often falls flat. Your brain fixates on the rare but catastrophic “what if” scenarios, making logical facts feel irrelevant. When anxiety takes over, the nervous system goes into fight-or-flight mode, making it nearly impossible to find comfort in statistics.
Acknowledge the fear first rather than dismissing it. Instead of bombarding yourself with statistics, understand the layers of safety built into aviation.
For example:
By shifting the focus from numbers to concrete safety measures, you will understand why flying is safe beyond just probabilities.
Anxiety isn’t a switch that can be turned off. Being told to “just relax” or “think positive” will probably only make you feel unheard, invalidating your experience. This approach often backfires, making you feel even more tense and frustrated.
Instead of empty reassurances, look for structured ways to manage anxiety:
Looking for actual tools to work with, rather than vague encouragement from others, makes a real difference.
Some believe that watching plane crash documentaries or turbulence videos will help anxious flyers become desensitized, but this often has the opposite effect. Instead of normalizing flight, it reinforces fear by strengthening the brain’s association between flying and danger. You might want to avoid listening to this advice.
Replace fear-inducing content with positive aviation exposure:
While a drink or sedative may seem like an easy fix, it can actually worsen your anxiety. Alcohol can dehydrate you, disrupt sleep, and make turbulence feel more disorienting. Sedatives can impair cognitive function, making you feel out of control, something that, as a fearful flyer, you most probably already struggle with.
Use natural coping mechanisms that help regulate emotions:
Much like the flying-over-driving argument, and while it’s true that over 100.000 flights take off and land safely each day, your anxious brain doesn’t care about those flights, it only cares about this one. Numbers and past data don’t register as reassurance when fear takes over, because anxiety isn’t a rational calculation. If you’re a nervous flyer, it can be helpful to explain to those around you that, even if they don’t understand why, this kind of reasoning won’t make you feel any safer.
Instead of trying to reassure them with numbers, try to acknowledge their fear and offer support in a way that actually helps.
When supporting a nervous flyer, remember that logic alone won’t override fear. What helps most is patience, presence, and understanding.
Breathing deeply seems like a good idea, but without proper technique, it can backfire. Shallow or fast breathing can actually increase anxiety, leading to dizziness or hyperventilation.
Teach structured breathing exercises that activate the parasympathetic nervous system:
These techniques regulate heart rate and calm the nervous system.
Some people find comfort in looking out the window, but for others, seeing the ground far below can increase feelings of detachment and panic. You might find the visual reminder of being high up to be unsettling rather than reassuring.
Choose a seat based on what feels safest:
Fear of flying isn’t just about statistics, it’s about emotions, perception, and feeling out of control. The best approach is to acknowledge your fear rather than dismiss it, and to find practical, comfort-based solutions instead of generic reassurances.
There are many fear of flying techniques that don’t work, and identifying them is an important step to overcoming flight anxiety, as it will allow you to focus on the ones that might work. Then again, we’re all different, so experience and adjust accordingly!
The Calm Cabin was created by a once-terrified flyer who finally overcame her fear of flying, and is now on a mission to help others do the same.
If the thought of stepping on a plane fills you with anxiety, you’re not alone. This space is here to support, reassure, and empower you to take off with confidence, so you can finally enjoy traveling and discover the world with ease and peace of mind.
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